Tuesday morning dawned full of Oregon drizzle. Hannah and I decided to pack up the girls anyway, though, and head to the zoo. Just as we arrived, however, Eleanor decided her tummy didn't feel well and threw up all over her self, the car seat and the car. Needless to say, we didn't make it into the zoo. Instead, we began 3 days of the stomach flu - passing it from one person to the next.
Eleanor and I washed our hands A LOT during those days... and I found that focusing on the sweetness of her baby-chub hands as well as the warmth of her body as I held her a lot helped me get through the tired, not feeling good days. Since we were sick, Hannah and I neglected once again to get many good pictures of our girls playing together. I did get these two pics of them playing with Merrick, however. Gracie and Eleanor both spent a lot of time reading and watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Eleanor still walks around our house saying, "Oh, toodles!" and "mish moose Mickey Mouse!" Thanks for having us, Brownlee's, not-so-great circumstances and all!
While in Oregon, we stayed with my cousin Hannah and her family. Gracie and Ella had a wonderful time playing together once again. It is great to have chances to let the girls get to know each other and become friends.
This was Monday of our trip and I was exhausted from 2 days of van travel and a day full of family. So, we laid low and let the girls have some fun at home. They adored this painting activity... and got paint EVERYWHERE, including all over their bodies. Check out Hannah's description of their fun here, in her Avatar post. She has some even better pictures there, especially of the end times when both girls where literally covered head to toe in blue paint.
This morning we were able to rest and relax for a few hours before a large group of our family gathered to do some catching up. We were blessed to see Jeff, Emily and Daniel, Great Grandma and Grandpa Sargent, Great Grandma and Grandpa Minthorne, Gramma and Grampa, and of course, Merrick, Hannah, Grace and Claire. Thank you everyone for taking the time to see us while we were in Oregon!
Saturday evening, after arriving exhausted in Tigard, OR, my mom and grandmother picked Ella and I up and we all headed down to Friendsview to see the other grandparents. We enjoyed a good meal in the dining room, Eleanor ran the halls with grandpa, and I got a chance to relax and talk with the grown ups.
After dinner we decided to take a walk down in the canyon. Eleanor loved this walk. We saw all kinds of plants, got to cross the creek on bridges, she got to run, we saw the beaver dam and several beaver-felled trees, and - the highlight - Eleanor learned about dropping pinecones off of bridges and into moving water. She was enamored with the idea of collecting pinecones and throwing them in the creek.
Now, this is important for me to remember because Ella is still telling me (4/7/10) about "great grandpa," "pinecones," "sticks," "throw - splash - water." She told Daddy the other day, "Watch sticks bye-bye." I love it that Eleanor has this sweet memory of playing with her grandma and great grandfather. Hopefully we'll be able to head out and see him again soon!
Eleanor has recently decided she really loves to shop. When we're in stores, she'll point to something and tell me, "Mommy, cute!" She is always excited when we tell her we're getting ready to go out. Her favorite places to go are Home Depot and Walmart. Now, the second of those two is not something I'm proud of, but it is sort of inevitable in this town - we don't have much else.
She also pretends to head out shopping a lot. Here she is, all dressed to go out. She told me, "Bye-bye. Kiss!" and headed over for a kiss. Then she said, "Shopping, later, Home Depot. Bye!" and headed for the door.
Eleanor received this huge bear from a friend who was finished with it. Ella LOVES this bear. She calls him "Big Bear" and gives him huge hugs all the time. She also drags him around the house - he is still bigger than she is.
Thank you, again, Adeline, for the fun, furry friend! We're glad you thought of Ella for this gift. :)
Our little miracle is checking out just perfectly. It was wonderful to get a chance to hear his/her heartbeat this morning. I've been feeling a lot better the last couple of days - even starting to almost not feel pregnant. It's great to have some relief.
The Tippin folks are here this week, visiting. Hopefully I'll remember to take some good photos to share with you in the coming days. They are having a great time with Ella.
This is what it is like to live in residential Wyoming: sometimes you just have to wait 5 minutes to back out of your driveway while 18 wild turkeys take their sweet time to cross the street.
Avery and Eleanor continue to be great friends. They always look forward to seeing each other and are getting better at playing together and sharing every day. I am grateful Ella has such great friends here in Sheridan and has a nice, loving place to go in the afternoons while I teach. I am especially grateful this arrangement has cut down significantly on our illnesses and thus our doctor visits!
With the advent of some nice springish weather, Eleanor's love for the outdoors has blossomed in full force once again. Over the winter I had almost forgotten last year's pleas to go OUT! Now it's "out - SIDE!" And once she's out, there's almost nothing that will bring her in - luckily, she's still only 28 pounds and we can easily pick her up. :)
The last few days, we've eaten outside, played outside, gone for walks, run around the backyard and stomped in the last of the melting snow - over and over and over again. London's also loving the nice weather, and I'm getting a hankering to start our garden. Unfortunately, I know there are still many weeks of snow ahead of us before our real spring and summer arrive. (At least we sort of hope because we haven't gotten nearly the amount of precipitation we need to avoid a very dry, tough summer around here).
Miss Eleanor has started to get an even bigger personality when it comes to dressing herself and accessorizing. She finds these silly things around, grabs them and wears them for long periods of time. This week, it's been a couple of pair of sunglasses. These lovely ones are obviously missing a lens - but that certainly didn't phase her.
This series of pics simply shows what a ham she's turning out to be. She thought she was being SO funny!
Thanks, Ella, for keeping us giggling - almost all the time. :)
So, I thought the worst had passed and I was really feeling better. I was convinced the 12 week mark would miraculously come upon me with healing - and that gave me hope during the pain.
Until Thursday evening hit.
I really don't know that I have words to describe how horrible the last 4 days have been. Thursday night was bad. Friday was terrible and Saturday is the most miserable I've been in YEARS. Sunday was perhaps a reprive, but only because of Saturday's monster-like qualities. Today I'm just praying to get through things - and unfortunately having to sort through my priorities and activities. I think the message is clear: you're pregnant and that's about all you can handle right now. Thus, family and home must come first and all other things are falling to the wayside... but I'm still struggling against it.
I've noticed that I will have a couple (or a few) pretty good days - meaning I feel okay throughout the day and have a tough, but not quite unbearable evening. And, I spend those days in a cycle that looks like this: recover from the misery (read, rest and play with Ella), think I should start taking care of things around the house (clean one room), decide I'm feeling much better and work hard all day to get things done (run errands, clean as much as I can, get active with Ella). The next day is inevitably EVIL. The nausea comes back in full force, I can hardly get off the couch - even with Ella saying, "NO! Wake up! Wake up! Stop it!" and pulling on my arms - and I'm in a wicked witch sort of mood.
So, now that I've recognized the cycle, I'm hoping I can break it... only do a little at a time. Ever. I guess we'll see. Since no one's exactly sure what brings "morning sickness" on, I can't be sure my over-extending myself makes it worse, or if it is just a hormonal cycle that will happen no matter what I do.
And, on the same note, but also slightly different - this last week Eleanor and I had a lot of time and space to do whatever we wanted. It reminded me a lot of how our life looked about 6 months after we'd moved here. I was involved with a few things, starting to teach piano lessons, but mostly just taking care of Eleanor and our home. We took tons of walks, hung out at the library, napped, read - essentially did whatever pleased us throughout the day. It was a relaxing time of life. This week was a "vacation" of sorts from our "normal" schedule because of others being on vacation, it being break week from Bible Study and also the off week for MOPS. I LOVED having every single one of our mornings free.
This week, however, we're back in full force. And, just the thought of it (having NO free mornings this week) sent me into melt-down mode last night. I just can't imagine recovering from my horrible weekend with a packed week... so I decided I'm not doing Bible Study this session. I will really miss the structured study materials for my morning devotions and I will totally miss the fellowship time with my small group, but I know it's a good decision. I think I'll have to let some other things go, too, but I'm going to pray over those a bit more before I make any complete decisions. It's things like this that are really hard on me emotionally - I just had no idea that this baby would already take such a toll.
I am SO HAPPY about this new life we're creating, but I'm realizing I'm in such a different place than I was when I was pregnant with Eleanor... and it's making things much harder. With Ella, we were knowingly in transition and I was purposefully taking a break from every activity in which I had previously participated. For the last few months, however, I was in full fledged "dive into life and activities in Sheridan" mode. Eleanor is finally at the age where I feel like I have more freedom to pursue things for myself - so I was. I was looking forward to doing more music, was excited to be much more participatory in social gatherings, was working hard at my piano business again, was making new running goals, etc. I know I will be able to transition back again into "baby" mode - and I'm kind of being forced to right now - but it's pulling at me in emotional ways I was unprepared to handle. Honestly, I expected to spend these 9 months of pregnancy just as I was before I was pregnant, only having to make minor adjustments until the baby actually arrives.
Now, with all that being said, I look back at last week's unscheduled schedule and think it was perfect. I am looking forward to feeling better so I can fully appreciate the next several months with my precious toddler - as my only child - and I hope what I'm learning will help me to fully do that. I am also looking forward to a time of totally unscheduled days in the fall when the new baby comes, when my focus will be solely on our family and the way it is growing. I'm thankful I have the capacity to learn from my experiences (and mistakes), I just hope I'm willing to listen to God's messages, and make necessary changes, in a whole-hearted way.
I have copious amounts of wonderful memories from my childhood that center around visiting my mom's parents' home. Going to Grandma and Grandpa's was always an adventure. Tons of the memories have to do with food - in large part because of my Grandfather's love for sweets. Now, of course, they don't all have to do with food, but that is also what is largely on my mind these days. :)
When I think of food at Grandma and Grandpa's house I'm especially reminded of fruit roll ups, custard style Yoplait yogurt, all the best sugary breakfast cereal, Pinwheels, soda pop and ice cream. All pretty wonderful things, eh?
Anyway, this weekend I was having a VERY hard time with my stomach and food in general again and at some point decided both ice cream and soda sounded like I might be able to keep them down. Of course, because of Grandpa, I knew how amazing they are together. So, we set out for the grocery store, did a little fabric shopping (Ella desperately needs new pjs), bribed Ella into good behavior by telling her we were getting a special treat and also bought root beer and vanilla ice cream. Now, I know to most of you, root beer and vanilla ice cream sound like the fixings for Rootbeer Floats - but, oh, no - they were the makings of Many Bubbles. Yum!
During my childhood, my favorite combinations were Dr. Pepper and chocolate ice cream or Cherry Coke and vanilla. These days, because of my avoidance of caffeine and a sensitive stomach, root beer and vanilla sounded divine. Anyway, at Grandpa's house, he'd let us pick our soda and give us the ice cream options, then he'd sit us down with a large bowl of ice cream. We'd sit together at their kitchen table, pour the soda over the top and talk over the amazing phenomenon of Many Bubbles. There is just something about looking at all those bubbles in a bowl and eating them with a spoon that is mesmerizing. Grandpa would always say, "Look at all those bubbles! Many, many bubbles! Just think, if I had a nickle for every one of those bubbles, I'd be rich!" It all just makes me smile. :)
Thus, this weekend, Ella was initiated into the world of Many Bubbles. Needless to say, she adored the combination as well.
My cousin sent a box of maternity clothes, a box of Ella clothes and a box of Trader Joe's goodies earlier this week. I really can't say enough how wonderful it all is and was! There is something truly amazing about a whole box of yummy stuff to eat when you're pregnant. :)
And, the last few days, I've felt good enough to actually want to eat! So, I've been able to enjoy some of the snacks. I'm still struggling with dinner and beyond, but the first 2/3 of the day is going well. Thank you so much for your prayers - I know that's a big reason things are better! This tiny bit of improvement helps me be much more optimistic about things getting even better here in the next few weeks. I am really looking forward to graduating into the second trimester!
The last couple of days we've had gorgeous weather here in Sheridan. It comes as a fantastic surprise and it has greatly improved my outlook. Ella and I have enjoyed many a moment walking, jumping in puddles, stomping on what's left of the ice and snow and sitting on the front step, enjoying the sunshine. She begs for her boots and to go " 'side. Peas, Mommy, out side!" We've also taken London on many a long walk. The exercise and fresh air have helped me immensely! It's about the only thing that actually makes me hungry without feeling nauseous and hungry at the same time.
Eleanor has also sported some pretty awesome outfits during this bout of springish weather. Yesterday she wore one piece hot pink fleece pajamas with her new blue rain boots, pig tails and Minnie Mouse sunglasses. (Of course, I forgot to take a picture.) You can see today's fantastic ensemble...
Ready, set...Crouch and...JUMP! " 'plash!"
We found these great boots on Saturday, but Ella was playing in the water a lot at the end of last week, too. I was very tired of trying to figure out how to dry her "tadis shoes" (tennis shoes), so these boots are WONDERFUL!
Month 3 of this pregnancy is well on it's way and although this won't be the "official" month 3 entry, I feel like I need to give you some more updated news on my outlook and queasy feelings. :)
I'm still very sick, but a friend gave me a set of Sea Bands last Tuesday and I've been wearing them most of the time since then. They really seem to help give me a sense of stability through the nausea. I'm still sick and still vomiting, but the frequency is greatly reduced. And, I feel like I can handle a little dinner time these days. I still don't eat a lot, and I still have a hard time cooking, but it is no longer the worst time of the day. I now feel like I can get Eleanor fed appropriately. We have been eating out a whole lot lately, though, because I still have a hard time thinking of what to make - and cooking is still really tough. Again, I look forward to a return of my old self...
Getting to see and hear our Bean on the ultrasound made this all feel even more real. We had an early ultrasound with Eleanor, too, but it was a very different experience. This time it was relaxed, the images were clear and there was absolutely nothing to worry about. It was wonderful to hear the nurse say that once they can pick up a strong heartbeat via ultrasound, and see the heart beating, it is very unlikely one would miscarry. Now, I have to say, I've been so sick that I wasn't really worried about that, but it is reassuring never the less.
Also, on Saturday I was able to get out for a run! Hooray! And, it went really well. I took it nice and slow, but made the whole 4 miles without a hitch. The running really helped my appetite once again and I ate a full dinner for the first time in about 4 weeks. Fantastic. It also seemed to carry over into Sunday because I felt much better for the majority of the day. I had a rough night, but the day was fun and our little family was able to head out for some in town shopping (we bought seeds for our garden!). I was also able to actually cook a balanced dinner for us all. What a blessing.
So, enough venting. Thank you for "listening." :) Hopefully our next post will be about something fun and not throwing up!
So, now that you know our big news, I have the freedom to vent about my pregnancy experience so far...
Month 1: Consolations: We found out we were pregnant (very early, I might add) and felt much joy and excitement. I was blessed with the ability to continue running and enjoyed weeks full of mileage. I was surprised to find out how much better I felt after a nice long hour of running, and how much better my appetite was.
Desolations: We found out we were pregnant so early because I was nauseous and a complete insomniac. Now, I'm a girl who LOVES her sleep, so messing with that has desperate consequences. I was cranky, angry and tired. I had huge circles under my eyes and pretty much didn't enjoy anything except my running escapes. I started having trouble making our weekly menu plans and had about 5 days where I just flat out couldn't make dinner for Seth and Ella. That of course made me frustrated and feel like I wasn't caring for my family appropriately.
Month 2: Consolations: A couple more weeks of running. I continued training for a half marathon and was running strong through 8 mile long runs. It was such a relief to keep running, and again, it really helped keep my appetite up in a healthy way. Seth has been an amazing support and took the reigns in the kitchen for a while. Most importantly, he's picked up some slack I'm leaving in the domestic chores area. He's also really helped me work with my insomnia problem. Also, I didn't feel the same ridiculous fatigue I had with Eleanor - where I had to go to bed at 6:30 in the evening. It was a blessing to make it to her bed time and beyond without any real problems.
Desolations: Sickness, sickness, sickness. Right around the 4 1/2 week mark I got really nauseous. Now, I was sick with Eleanor, but only for a few hours a day and I think it only ranged from around week 6 or 7 to week 10 or 11. This time, I feel nauseous 18 to 20 hours a day, have trouble falling asleep because I feel so horrible, think of food obsessively because I want to eat so badly, but everything sounds terrible. I also vomit a lot. A lot. Luckily, I feel like I'm able to keep enough nourishment down that I'm not worried about getting dehydrated. Also, around week 7 I lost my ability to run. Huge bummer! This happened in my first pregnancy, too, and actually started earlier that time, so I'm not totally surprised, but I was really hoping to avoid it this time around. I still haven't found an alternative, so now I'm not exercising - which makes me feel even more sloth-like and bummed - but hopefully I'll get this worked out soon. With Ella, I swam everyday... but right now we don't have a gym membership, so that's not an option. I'm still having trouble with dinners - can't plan them, can't cook them and often can't eat them. And, I've totally gone against my gluten free, dairy free, yeast free, sugar free diet. I just reach for whatever sounds the least offensive at any given moment. Unfortunately, I'm feeling consequences there, too, but in the moment those foods bring comfort and nourishment and a way to get through feeling so bad. I am desperately praying for a lifting of this "morning sickness" in the next couple of weeks and a return of my old eating habits, likes, dislikes and abilities. It is frustrating to just totally not feel like yourself!
At the end of each day, however, no matter how horrible I feel or have felt, I'm thankful for this new little life. We are looking forward to meeting you, Baby, grow strong and healthy!
Since we were sick, Hannah and I neglected once again to get many good pictures of our girls playing together. I did get these two pics of them playing with Merrick, however. Gracie and Eleanor both spent a lot of time reading and watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Eleanor still walks around our house saying, "Oh, toodles!" and "mish moose Mickey Mouse!" Thanks for having us, Brownlee's, not-so-great circumstances and all!
